Quotes of the Day

Quotes of the day

• Be normal, and the crowd will accept you. Be deranged, and they will make you their leader.
• Every great man was thought to be insane before he changed the world. Some never changed the world. They were just insane.
• I don't fail. I succeed at finding what doesn't work.
• It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's funnier.
• When in doubt, do it.
• A crappy life is a great excuse to live a crappy life.
• Always apologize first--it annoys the crap out of people.
•  "Losing builds character." You know who said that? A loser.
• Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and the world laughs harder.
• There's a one-in six-billion chance that you'll find your soul mate. And that's if they're not dead.
• Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control.
• The government favors the most diplomatic language. That's why any letter to them should always start with, "Dear turkeys and foul maggots..."
• Born free. Taxed to death.
• I don't suffer from insanity--I enjoy every minute of it.
• We are brought into this world cold, weak, and helpless. Then it gets worse.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.
• If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.
• Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.
• No problem is so big and difficult that it can't be blamed on somebody else.
• Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies.
• Whenever you're pissed off, just remember that it's better than being pissed on.
• Screwed-up people settle fights through violence. Screwed-up people start wars that could kill millions. 
• Normal people settle fights through cookies, cakes, and pies. Normal people are fat.
• God bless America. But God, please help Canada.   "by Christopher Titus"